Lessons to Remind Yourself of
Tidbits I've found myself reminding myself of quite often in this life season.
Currently, I’m curled up on my couch, with some sleepy time tea, the light of a candle, with a comfort creator playing in the background, and a quiet home. Both of the fur kids are sound asleep on the couch with me, and D fell asleep early due to his newer early morning routine. So it’s me, tea time, and Substack for the evening. In this stillness, I felt drawn to grab my laptop, and begin writing. But what about?
I combed through older ideas jotted into my Notes app, but settled on a thought that popped into my head: why not write about the constant reminders I’ve been having to share with myself more regularly? I’ve shared on this newsletter that I’ve been struggling with my current life season — tons of change, loss, grief, joy, changes, financials, and the list of adulting continues on, and on. But with it all, I am trying to show up authentic to me, my voice, and with a grateful heart.
Maybe there’s someone else who needs a soft friendly reminder.
Often times, things that you feel like putting off, or not doing, end up feeling absolutely amazing after the fact of checking it off your to do list. Taking that mid day walk, pushing yourself towards Quiet time, connecting with a friend, tackling a nagging to do, responding to the email, paying the bill, scheduling the appointment. The list goes on, and on. The idea of going to the gym may feel daunting, but heck, after, you’re sure darn proud of yourself. Remind yourself of the after outcome when struggling to complete something, or get it done.
Writing never ending to do lists does not equate to productivity. This is a personal one for me. I thrive on feeling like if I can accomplish writing the “perfect” to do list of everything that needs to be tackled in a day, I will for sure complete all tasks listed. Big fat false. Honestly, anything over 3 major tasks in a day overwhelms me. Finding a productivity brain map that works for you is crucial.
You are exactly where you need to be, and where God wants you to be. Appreciate the blessings you prayed for, and stop mistaking your blessings for burdens. You’re excited to date, until you date, and then you cannot wait to get married, but then you’re married and you’re rushing the time until you can buy a home, or have a baby. Life goes by far too fast to be rushing the minutes in a day. God has planted your seeds, and you are to allow them to grow, and bear fruit of your life. Take the time to see your own garden.
You are not alone, or unique in situations. This is hard pill to swallow, but true. There are billions of other people in the world, and rest assured, you are not the first person to be dealing with a situation. When I went through my miscarriage, I felt so incredibly lonely, despite knowing that so many women dealt with this trauma. This should feel comforting, as you do not suffer alone.
Life keeps spinning, even when your world stops. Another hard pill. When life feels so tough, and like people should be checking in on you, often only those close to you will nourish you. The outside world sees you as just another cc on an email more than likely, and it’s YOUR job to ensure you’re being kind to yourself.
Do not make roommate issues, marital problems. Esther Perel said this best on her podcast, “Where Should We Begin,” — and I find myself referencing it often. In a marriage, or relationship, there are often issues that arise that are NOT meant to be marital issues, it’s simply a roommate issue. Prime example? The fact that my husband never closes the shower curtain. Some days it drives me insane, other days it’s a happy reminder that I am blessed to have a husband who supports our household. The issue of the shower curtain is something so minimal that it would be absolutely silly, and truthfully I’d be a nagging wife, if I didn’t just close the curtain. Some things are simply more “criteria” to you, than a responsibility to your partner.
There is so much that isn’t taught about adulting, and you’ll feel really stupid when navigating issues for the first time. It’s okay to feel dumb for moments of adulting. However, I want to be the first to say you are not. After my miscarriage I found myself dealing with health insurance in a way I have never before. My head in a tailspin. I felt so stupid, and dumb for not understanding most, if not everything — especially considering I work for insurance (but not health). This isn’t the first time I’ve picked up the phone to call my family begging for my mom or aunt to just…handle it, in all transparency. There is so much that isn’t talked about, or taught in adulthood. We’re all just kids, growing up, and navigating life for the first time…even your parents, remember that.
Keep some form of a diary, journal, or notes. Take lots of photos. If life has taught me anything, it’s that I am beyond lucky to have all the memories of moments that no longer exist engrained into physical form. The amount of photos, voice memos, videos, and journal entries. Even this newsletter. Book marking life’s moments is what makes life memorable. I’m not the type of person to live a concert out through a phone screen, but I’ll surely be recording my favorite song so I remember the moment that felt magical, and feel every moment I did then.
In a society of “self care” make sure to preserve yourself while taking care of others. We often live in a selfish society mindset. We are reading more self help books, and “fixing ourselves” than we could ever be concerned about those around us. How are we suppose to flourish, if those around us are suffering? Self care means ensuring the “environment” around us is rich enough for us to grow. With genuine care, you should be checking on your family, friends, and community members. This does not mean to neglect yourself. It’s just a reminder to fill your cup, and then also go out to fill others.
Make your life exciting in the little moments, and have fun.
As this list comes to an end, I can be certain in saying that this list irl can go on, and on. There are so many life reminders that need to be engrained into our brain so we feel less alone in moments of growing pains. Hoping this post provides a reminder to whoever this post needs to reach — you’re exactly where you are meant to be.
xo, SRM
A great mind...............is one who thinks about stuff often. Clearly that is you. Being aware of stuff, grows us in our own way. I love reading your posts and reminiscing about "stuff" I too thought about as I got older. As I think about my husband and what irks me about him, I start thinking...........let it go, who knows how long he will be here on earth? My school of thought changed from another time when I would get mad, but not anymore. We all change, one way or another. Love you Sam